Stay Strong
November 16, 2024
I have put off writing this blog entry for over a week now. I didn’t want to make a political post but God keeps nudging me to do it, so I guess I’ll be obedient in doing so😊 I want to start by saying I know we all have different opinions and different past that perhaps change our point of views on things. I still love you. You do not have to agree with me to be friends or to read my blog. This is just my thoughts, and I can do that because it is my site😊
I would be lying if I did not say I was thrilled that Trump one the election, because I am. I did not vote for him because I agree with everything he has done in the past or everything he does now. I voted him and the republican party because they want to put God first and that is what our country needs most. God being first could change every single one of our lives for the better, I know he changed mine.
We do not know when Trump accepted Christ so we cannot judge him on who he was before he did, just like I do not want to be judged for who I was before I came to Christ. I still sin every day and think anyone who thinks he will not continue to sin just because he is the president is not being realistic.
I have heard and read that so many women feel scared to be a woman in the United States now since Trump was elected. I do not understand this. Trump was the president and never put a 100% abortion ban in place. He has left it to the states and says that is what he will continue. There will always be an exceedingly rare case that a mother cannot carry a baby safely, but they are rare, and exceptions can be produced for that, but straight-out abortion is wrong. No matter the circumstance I do not understand how you could kill a baby (not a fetus) that is half of you. It is yours. I know women who have has several abortions, they use it as birth control. I am not sure how people think that’s ok. God says it is wrong. Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.”
A friend of mine had an abortion and then years later she was married, and her and her husband could not get pregnant. They adopted two boys, and she called me crying. You see you do not just have an abortion and get over it. There is trauma that goes along with it, so even if you were raped you are not going to ever forget, just because you got rid of the baby. Any way she was so thankful that her boy’s bio mom did not abort them otherwise she never would have been a mom. She asked me if she was being punished for having the abortion and wondered if that was why she could not get pregnant now. If you have had an abortion, God still loves you and will forgive if you repent (turn away from the sin) ask for forgiveness and never do it again.
As Christians it is important to fight for what is good and righteous in this world. We need to stand up for Christ because those full of evil are fighting a good fight. We need to keep those is office that will fight to keep Christ first and will put God back in our schools. The world was a much better place before the mentality that anything goes on in this world and if it makes you happy and makes you feel good it is all right. God never promised you a life without sorrow.
He never promised you would not have sinful thoughts. He does ask that we do not act on them, but he did promise he will always love us and never leave us. 1 Chronicles 28:20 “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the Lord is finished.”
Blessed > Deserved❤
Cheri
October 6th, 2024
In her womb
So recently my husband and I were blessed with the most amazing news!!! Our first little girl and her husband are expecting their first baby. We are beyond blessed.
With this excitement I have thought a lot about how when you want a baby it’s a baby from the moment its conceived but for some people, they liked to call that baby a fetus to somehow make themselves feel like it’s not really a baby and therefore not worthy of life. If that baby is unwanted then it is easier to act like that life does not matter. There are many situations when a baby might not be ideal for someone’s situation but there are always options, and I am so grateful for adoption. The bible says in Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” I have always enjoyed poetry, and I wrote this for today’s blog.
In her womb, is a special being.
Unlike any other ever seen
Unique and priceless just as he promised
Already chosen in the kingdom someday he will find us
Taken from each his mom and his dad
Formed by our king never to be sad
For he chose the best for his life
A mother and father who will always serve Christ
So, from the moment he was conceived.
he has always been loved and never forgotten or unseen.
For God formed him in his mother’s womb
Already a child of God this is true
He’s not a fetus or a seed
He’s a child of God who will someday bleed
Just like our father who died for our sins.
he is alive until God someday chooses the end.
God is the creator and the king of all kings.
To him goes all blessings for the love that he brings
Blessed >Deserved❤
Cheri
September 19, 2024
Mountain Get Away
It is interesting to me that I so desperately want to go away on vacation but then when it is time to come back, I so desperately cannot wait to be home. I do love to travel but there is something special about being in your own town, your own surroundings and most importantly in your own bed.
We had a wonderful time in Estes Park Colorado. We have been there several times in the past, but every time we go, we experience something new, and the beauty of the surroundings never ceases to amaze us. The mountains, the rivers, lakes and streams and the elk. Awe….. the elk. I will never tire of watching them.
It has been 4 years since our last trip out there and our smallest two were only 2 and 3 then. They of course did not remember the trip at all so this was like the first time for them, and they were amazed by all of God’s beauty. We had a time getting them to put their devices away at times and just look at their surroundings which they did, and they enjoyed. My mom reminded me of our family vacations as a child when they wanted me to look out the window and look at the mountains and I responded, “if you’ve e seen one mountain you’ve seen them all!”🤣 LOL
The day we were in Rocky Mountain National Park we stopped towards the bottom of the mountain and had home school. A wonderful benefit of being a home school family. We were doing our best to complete our worksheets when Brady began to cry, and his face went blank, and pale and he fell backwards off the picnic table. His body stiff and he passed out. He hit his head too and when he came to, he began to cry. He had what we call “one of his spells” The neurologist says he has Benign Paroxysmal Vertigo It has been a good year since his last episode, but they are still aways to scary. His face goes pale, and lips turn purple, and his heart rate drops down into the thirty’s. Thanks to God they only last about 5-10 min and this one was shorter than that.
Later that same night we got a phone call from our second oldest that she had been in an accident. She had gone horseback riding with her boyfriend and some friends when her horse was spooked by something and reared up throwing her hard onto the ground and it fell on her right leg. She hit her head and left arm on the ground and landed on her rearend hard on a stick or rock or something. She was in agony and could not walk so she went to the Emergency Room. She had a terrible bruise on her back side and had some slight internal bleeding. They kept her overnight for observation and pain control. Thankfully, nothing was broken, and she will have an MRI next week to see if there is any internal damage in the leg.
It was terrible being so far away from your child when they needed you and it was not like we could get home quickly. We were so thankful for friends and family who were able to be with her and check on her, we appreciated it so much.
We had no control over the situation and circumstances however God is always in control and his love never fails.
Lamentations 3:22-24 22 The Lord’s love never ends; his mercies never stop. 23 They are new every morning; Lord, your loyalty is great. 24 I say to myself, “The Lord is mine, so I hope in him.”
Blessed > Deserved❤
Cheri
Worry Not
Sept. 1st, 2024
Now that school is back in session, I have come to the realization that the stress and worry the children have is also shared by many parents, including me specifically. Brady and Stella are now in first grade and my mind has been filled with nothing but anxiety and worry.
As a Christian I know I am not supposed to worry and I do know God is in complete control, but I still worry. Why you might ask, because I am human and even though I am a saved sinner, I am still a sinner. I struggle with sin just like everyone else.
I worry if they are prepared for first grade, if emotionally they are ready. If they are going to listen to their teacher, if they will be nice to their peers, if they will make friends, if they will like it, if they will miss me, will they miss me too much, are they crying, are they happy, are they going to eat enough at lunch time and if they have to poop are they going to wipe good so they don’t stink and have a sore hinee. 🤣 I worry about everything!
Perhaps you do too, or maybe you are one of those impressive moms who have it all together and if you are one of those moms can you tell me how to get that, because I am struggling. I know as the weeks get better this uncertainty; I am feeling will get better as we establish a routine.
I think by going back to school we focus so much on how they are adapting that we forget it is a change for the parents too. Any change whether positive or negative is still stressful and I am going to try to stop being so hard on myself and remember to pray and read God’s word about worry and realize it is all in God’s hands. I need to let it go and give it to God because I cannot do it on my own.
- He says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
- And “So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Blessed > Deserved❤
Cheri
Regulation
Aug. 13th, 2024
So, this last week has been an emotional roller coaster at the Yoder household. Behavior problems do not just affect the child but the entire family. We love our children so much it breaks our hearts to see them struggle with their emotions and feelings.
I have come to the realization that I am part of the problem. It is not easy to say aloud, but I am. How do I expect a 6-year-old to regulate his emotions when I cannot even regulate my own? I sometimes act like a child myself. I get frustrated and almost throw a little tantrum myself.
How can I expect him to be calm when I get loud and holler or do not use the nicest attitude when speaking? I have apologized to him and to God, but honestly, I have been through this before and here I am again. I will do good for a while and then I am right back at it again acting like a child myself.
It has dawned on me that when I go thorough something like this I lean on God and pray for him to help me, he does and then I stop asking for help. I stop reading his word, I stop praying as much. I need him, I need to be in a constant state of prayer with him. It is not him that left me but me that left him. He is always there.
The Bible says 1. Ephesians 4:29 – Kindness in Speech “Don’t let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up…” Speaking kindly is about using our words to lift others up and avoiding harsh words.
Words I need to avoid are “You always and you never” they are not true, kind, or necessary and really need to be avoided from my vocabulary. They are hurtful and when spoken to me make me automatically defensive. I need to remain calm when my children upset me and speak more quietly instead of becoming louder. I need to be loving with my every word and attitude.
Mama, if you can relate to this, I am going to be praying for you as well as for myself. Being a mom is hard and enhance that with any additional behavioral problem or another special need and it seems almost impossible.
Ask others for help and if you are the person summoned for help listen. Someone might not ask directly for help. It is embarrassing to admit we do not have it all together. We might say things like “I cannot do this, I am struggling, I am tired, I do not know what to do, can you come over, and I just need to talk. Often just calling and venting to you is all we need to remove ourselves from whatever is going on and regulate our emotions from whatever is going on at home.
Ephesians 6:4
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Isaiah 54:13
“All your sons will be taught of the Lord;
And the well-being of your sons will be great.
Blessed >Deserved❤
Cheri
Grace
August 6, 2024
We were recently on a family vacation to Branson, Missouri and our second daughter Skyler had to drive home early to board a plane the next day to go with her boyfriend and his family on a family vacation to Florida. I hated seeing her leave knowing she had to drive back by herself but was also really excited for her to have this experience.
I had been asleep for a few hours when I woke up to the notification of a new text message. It read “I forgot my ID in the jet ski” to a quick phone call from her with her saying “so basically I’m screwed.” I quickly went into mom mode trying to figure out how to fix this problem for her.
Years ago, when we went to renew our driver’s license we were issued the actual license right then. This would have solved our problem but now a days we are issued a paper temporary Id, and our actual Id comes in the mail a few weeks later. I quickly looked at the TSA website and it read that temporary ids are not acceptable. She also did not have any other acceptable form of id she could use.
I told her I would just leave the next morning and meet her in Liberty Missouri with her ID and give it to her before she boarded the plane. She was so grateful because if I did not do this, she would not be able to go.
I could have made her feel worse by giving her a lecture for forgetting it, but I chose to show her grace. You see we have all been there and forgotten something and a lecture would only make things worse for her and she already felt awful and anxious. I decided to ask myself before I responded:
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it necessary?
If I could not answer “yes” to all three I should just not say it. This advice has kept me out of trouble a lot over the years. Unfortunately, I do not always live by this, but I am trying.
I left the next morning and drove almost 4 hours to meet her in liberty I arrived about 1 hour early so I could get out of the car and move around and do a little shopping before getting back in the car and driving another almost 4 hours back. God was with me because I usually struggle to stay awake and this time I had absolutely no issues with this. I enjoyed my time by myself which I hardly ever have and my daughter I feel loves me even more.
Our heavenly father exhibits this same kind of grace to us every day. Every day we fall short of his love when we sin, but he loves us anyway and only says what is true, kind, and necessary.
God wants us to grow strong in giving grace to others. Giving grace to another person is simply to forgive them, unconditionally, just as God forgave us through Christ. “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13, NIV).
Blessed > Deserved❤
Cheri
Companionship
July 25th, 2024
Recently my mom and dad bought a new puppy. He’s an adorable little Shih Tzu they named Benji. Two times prior to getting this little guy they were heartbroken because the dogs they were supposed to get didn’t work out and for whatever reason they were
not able to get them.
A couple days ago the kids and I went to visit my parents and of course Benji who is already a major member of the family. We went to Walmart first and bought him 3 toys and yes all of them noise makers! (getting my parents back for all the noisy toys they bought my kids when they were babies) LOL! A donut, a pacifier and the best a chicken that literally sounds like its dying and may just be the most annoying sound ever 😊
My mom had been worried that with his playful chewing he might be too rough on the kids, but animals are so funny they seem to know how to behave with little kids. They also seem to know when someone is sad, and they will just sit and love you. Animals are such a blessing and I feel so many people are missing out if they don’t have them in their lives.
Benji was so excited when we walked in the door. We all had so much fun playing together. He is adorable and my parents love him. My mom especially adores him. She made a comment that she hardly gets anything done anymore because all she wants to do is play with him 😉 She says it’s been so nice to have another thing to talk to and to talk about with my dad. She’s enjoying having something to take care of too.
It has to be so hard when your children all get married and move away and then get so busy with their own families. Our parents spend so much time taking care of everyone that it must get pretty lonesome after you’ve had a break from that for a while.
God blessed us with animals, and he cares for each one of them. In the beginning the bible says Genesis 2 19 19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.
The animals were given to us as a blessing to enjoy for companionship, for food, and to rule over. God cared so much for them that when he sent the flood and it rained for 40 days and 40 nights, he saved male and female of each on Noah’s Ark so that we could continue to be blessed by them.
Remember we are a blessing to our animals, but they are also a blessing and a special gift from our heavenly father, and we are to love and care for them in nothing but the best way.
Blessed > Deserved❤
Cheri
80 years of Memories
July 15th, 2024
Yesterday was my dad’s 80th birthday party. It was a day full of tasty food, memories, and laughter. A day that many people do not get to help their parents celebrate. 80 years is longer than the average person gets to experience in this world. 80 years Is longer than many people would want to spend in this crazy world, but our family is blessed to have had so many wonderful years together.
As we reflected on my dad’s life by looking at pictures and talking about our memories with him, I could not help but remember how much our relationship has changed over the years. From a little girl who loved her daddy to a teenager who was annoyed by everything he did or said to a now 50 years old who now cherishes the time we have together.
His life had made me really think about the time I have with my children and how history repeats itself. Most people go through the same relationship woes with their children as well. Right now, we have two adult children who I believe actually enjoy spending time with us and we adore our time with them. We also have two little children who still think we are the best and know everything and come to us about absolutely everything.
On the days that their constant questions “get” on my nerves I try to remember what I once heard. We have 10 years with our children where they like us and want to be with us. After that, friends become the priority and in the teenage years we become absolute morons in their eyes but as they become adults, they will hopefully consider us their friends. Right now, we have it surprisingly good. Two that we are friends with and two that still think we are terrific. I often get exhausted with the work load that comes with the 2 little ones but I need to remember not to wish this time in life aways because like a leaf blowing in the wind it will soon disappear and all I will be left with is the precious memories of what once was.
- Children should obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1-3)
- Parents have a responsibility to guide their children (Proverbs 22:6)
- Parental love can be likened unto God’s own love (Matthew 7:11)
- Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it (Proverbs 22:6)
- For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh (Genesis 2:24)
Likewise, one day my dad will be gone and all I will have left is the memories and all he has taught me, the person he helped to shape me to be and the resemblance I sometimes catch a glimpse of as I look in the mirror.
Happy 80th Birthday dad!
Blessed > Deserved❤
Cheri
Lake Days
July 8th, 2024
This last week was full of sunshine, tasty food, and family time. Some of my favorite times are spent at my happy place, Table Rock Lake in Branson Missouri. Where time slows down and life becomes simple. Our biggest decision becoming which cove we are going to meet up with our friends/family at to float the day away.
Over the years our friends have become family, and we often spend more time with them than we do our “real” families. They have become our constant support and confidants, and we adore them.
Watching the kids swim and master jumping off the dock or boat is so heartwarming for me. I love it when their confidence explodes as they become so proud of themselves for ignoring their fear and taking that plunge forgetting that they are about to do something they have never done before. When they are successful the smile on their face explodes as they giggle in true happiness.
We have been going to Table Rock Lake for 22 years now and it never gets old. It is our second home and the memories we have created can never be stollen.
We spent so many years with our oldest two doing these same things and now we are blessed to be able to experience them again with your younger two. Our “family” has grown. People have come and gone. Our older children have had boyfriends come and go and now many are married, and some have children of their own, but one thing has never changed. The love we have for each one of them.
The fact that they are not blood relatives means nothing. They are our family, they are our friends, they are our people, and our lives are full of memories that include them. Our lives would not be the same without them and I never want to lose the time spent with them, especially on the lake. These memories are priceless. The Bible tells us John 12:15-17 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the father in my name, he may give it to you. …
Blessed > Deserved❤
Cheri
UGG, Parenting is hard
June 27, 2024
This week has been especially trying for me and my parenting skills. I feel especially like a failure. I find it ironic that we must have a license to drive, to fish, to carry etc. but anyone of us can be a parent. 😊LOL. I for one do not always feel worthy of this role.
We have four children as you may know. The three girls have all been easy. However, our son is another story. I had always heard that boys were wilder than girls when they were little, and I have found that to be true. Our son struggles with his behavior and has poor impulse control, he is also a little hyper most of the time. I have found that what has worked to discipline the girls is not effective with our son. Honestly, nothing really does help except for time.
I will be honest, before we were blessed with our son, I was quick to judge parents who could not make their kids listen. I had the mindset “you’re the parent make them listen” I think God must have been laughing at me because now I utterly understand and feel so bad for having those judgmental thoughts.
I have been helping with VBS this week at our church and our son was assigned to be in the group I was helping with. Honestly, I spend my time stewing and worrying is he going to behave and are we going to get through each group. It has not been horrible until today. He had a little argument with another little boy who said my son stole his seat so to prevent a fight I just had my son move. Then he would not sit still and ran off and ran out of the sanctuary away from me. He took off outside to the playground and I found him there. I tried talking to him, which did not work he ran away from me back into the church and locked the door so I could not get in. Luckly another crew member let me in. He kept running away from me and I finally caught him in the nursery. By now I was embarrassed, frustrated and at my wits end. I gave him a flotch on his Hine which did nothing, and he took off again. Mortified, humiliated, frustrated and embarrassed I gathered my son and my belonging, told my co crew leader I had to leave and would be back to get my daughter and walked out of the church with my head held low, hanging in shame as I am now that parent who can’t “just make their child listen”.
So, mama if you can relate to this just know that I feel you. Parenting is hard and being a mom is even harder because my son will always act 100% better for my husband. You are doing the best you can, and I am going to pray for you, and I will no longer be judging you-it is not your fault and you’ve got this.
The Bible says Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Proverbs 29:17 Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.
Proverb 19:18 Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.
1st Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond
your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Blessed > Deserved❤
Cheri
I knew you
June 17th, 2024
The Bible says, in Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born, I sanctified you; and I ordained you a prophet to the nations.” This means that even before fertilization occurred God knew us, he loved us, and he already had a plan for us. He already knew who our parents would be, which is not always our biological parents. He already had a purpose for your life. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
People are always telling us how much all our children look like us. Yes, even the two that we adopted. No one has ever questioned that my husband and I are the biological parents because they do look like us and our two other daughters.
Their biological parents had four children together, all about 1 year apart from one another. The first and last children look nothing like them, and both have been adopted and I would be curious to see what their parents look like because I would be willing to bet, they look just like them. God is so amazing like that.
At times it angers me that their bio parents could not get it together enough to give them a good life but then I am reminded that I would not have been blessed with them if they had. Then I remember too that God had this all planned from the beginning and that just is so extraordinary to me. He is so wonderful, and it is so amazing that anything that we every want to know we can look up in the Bible. (His little life instructions book for dummies if you will)😂
Blessed > Deserved❤
Cheri
Hug your loved ones
June 12, 2024
This last week was a particularly hard one. Full of mixed emotions, tears and laughter and tons of hugs. Our family lost a remarkable man. A strong man of God that no one else can quite measure up to.
I was reminded this week how too often we forget to tell others how we feel about them until they are gone and then our phones, social media and their funeral is filled with wonderful words that the person had never even heard about themselves. I am not being negative about that; I am just as guilty. I wish so badly I would have told him what a wonderful man he was. How much I admired and respected him and how thankful I was that he taught my husband what living a life by a Godly example looks like, but I did not. I thought there was still plenty of time.
As I stood at visitation, I was in awe of the number of people that attended and had nothing but kind words to say about him. I have never heard a sour word spoken about him and never heard of anyone that did not respect him. It was obvious that everyone that new him admired him and knew him to be a man of God.
This led me to ponder what would my visitation be like. What would people say about me?
I am not sure they would say they saw me as a woman of God and that is how I want to be seen. Oh, sure I love God and try to tell others about him, but I sometime have a short temper, become irritated easily and have a slip of the tongue, my past haunts me and I feel like since it haunts me that no one else can get past it either.
I love God with all my heart and soul. He is my best friend, only ahead of my husband. I love him so much but is that evident to others by how I live my daily life? The bible says that the greatest commandment is to love one another as God loves us.
I could do so much more for Christ! I could show so much more love towards others! I could be a better, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and child of God! What about you? What will people say about you after you are gone? It is not too late to change your legacy.
If you do not know God as your personal Lord and savior, I ask you to pray to him about what that means and accept him in your life. It is not about being a certain religion. It is about having a relationship with him. He wants to know you. Talk to him, ask for forgiveness, turn away from those terrible things you do and do not do them anymore. It is hard, ask him to help you. Believe he died on the cross for your sins and that he rose again 3 days later and that if you do this you will live forever with him in heaven. John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that he gave is only begotten son, for whoever believes in him will not perish but have an everlasting life” God does not say be perfect and then come to me. Come to God just as you are, and he will come into your life and help you. He is a gentleman; he will only enter your life if you invite him. He gave us free will.
Again, what will your legacy be? I am going to work on changing mine!
Blessed > Deserved❤
Cheri
If I can help you in any way so that you can know what will happen to you when you die, please let me know. If I do not know the answer, I will find the answer for you. Life is not perfect just because I know God, but it would be unbearable without him.
June 1, 2024
If what you needed, was just a little perspective
So, we just got back from a little get away to Table Rock Lake in Branson Missouri. The lake is our happy place. We had such a wonderful time being together and making memories. The Lake brings me so much peace and joy.
Last night though I felt something a little different. We had just returned to our dock from an evening cruise when I stood up to get off our boat and my phone fell out of my pocket and landed right in my happy place. Ugg I was so mad and frustrated, I never take my phone on the boat, so why did I tonight I thought. For a minute I thought about diving in after it, but it was dark, at least twenty feet deep and probably some scary gnarr fish living down there. Um no thank you.🙄 I honestly felt like I had lost my entire world but then I looked around and realized my entire world was still standing on the doc and Skyler was safe at home, so what did I really lose? Memories? No -those are in my brain, pictures? No-saved in the cloud, contacts again saved in the cloud. I lost nothing but gained a new perspective.
So, I woke up this morning back in 1992 and guess what, other than some inconveniences I have lost nothing. Eugene still has his phone; we have an Alexa so when home I can use her to make phone calls and, in a day, or so I will have a new phone.
I started thinking about how different our world would be, my life would be, if we took our Bibles with us everywhere instead of our phones. What if our Bible is what we scrolled through whenever we had a spare moment or were board? What if we treated our Bible like the wonderful blessing it is instead of our phones?
I hate to admit it, but I did not even remember to take my Bible with me, but I sure remembered my phone and used it about a thousand times on my trip. What is wrong with me that I put so much value on a piece of technology? The Bible says:
Romans 12:2 encourages us not to conform to the patterns of this world but to be transformed by renewing our minds. By doing so, we can discern God’s will and align our thoughts with His purpose .
Philippians 4:8 advises us to focus on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. Controlling our thoughts in this way helps us maintain a positive mindset
Can you imagine what a different state our world would be in if we spent our days learning about God, scrolling through the pages of the Bible instead of Facebook? Everyone filling their brains and every thought with the word of God instead of things of the world.
I am challenging each of you to join me in spending less time on your phone and more time in the word of God. Let us try this for 1 week and see how much better our life is and how much God blesses us.
Blessed > Deserved❤
Cheri
The Big One
May 20th, 2024
The other night my husband and two little ones went fishing in one of our ponds. We had so much fun, because almost as quickly as we would cast our line we would catch a fish. Brady caught the first one and it was pretty big. We have never caught a fish that big from our pond, we did not even know they existed. We screamed and hollered, and he was so proud of his massive fish. He was scared to get too close to it, but we were able to get a picture of it. We put it in a bucket of pond water and waited to see if we caught more. I caught several fish, stella caught two and Eugene, well poor Eugene spent most of his time like most dads fixing everyone’s poles and undoing snags and I spent much of my time taking all the fish off the hook 😊lol.
We caught twenty-seven fish in a short amount of time and Brady caught eighteen of those fish. He has a certain way of fishing that worked for him that night. He cast rather spasticly and then reals it in as fast as he can, and I tell you those little boogers were biting like crazy. It did not matter that they were tiny. We hollered and got excited just like we did for the big one because they all mattered and were all so important to our little guy.
Eugene started cleaning the fish and taught me how too because we had so many I decided it was time I learned. He took pictures and texted them to my parents to prove to them that I was doing it. My parents are always surprised by the stuff I do since living on the farm. Such as pulling calves, inserting my arm in a mama to pull out her afterbirth and now cleaning fish. Things the 12-year-old me would have never done considering I was going to marry a rich man, live in the city and “do lunch” LOL 😂We had a blast and will remember that night forever.
Later that night while lying in bed I started thinking about God and how he has called us to be fishers of men. In Mathew 4:19 he says, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” How excited we get when we catch a fish, or our favorite team scores a touchdown, or our favorite player sinks another three pointer! We scream and yell and jump out of our seat, but how do we act at church on Sunday? Are we excited to learn about Christ? Do we yell and scream in excitement when another brother or sister comes to Christ? Or do we just sit quietly in our seat checking the time to see if the service is almost over? I want to be on fire for Christ, I want yelling and screaming in happiness at church to be the norm. I want people to be excited for what God is doing. I want God to make me a fisher of men, and the big one will be the brother or sister that no one ever thought would come to Jesus-the one the furthest away from God. I challenge you all to be fishers of men and join God’s team. Let’s change the world!
Blessed > Deserved ❤
Cheri
Dazed and confused
Two years ago, I started having extreme irritability and rage. I also was having very irregular periods and was 48 years old. I went to my doctor because if I did not, I was either going to strangle someone or absolutely no one would want to be around me. Ugg what was wrong with me?
Turns out I was in peri menopause. You must be without a period for 1 year before a doctor will diagnose you as being in menopause. My medication was tweaked a little to get me through the hump and I felt much better and after about 3 months I was able to stop taking the change in medication and resume my usual med.
Fast forward 2 years and the rage returned. This is called perimenopausal rage: according to healthline.com “perimenopause rage does not mean you are going crazy. You will not feel this way forever. There is a chemical reason for what you are experiencing. Estrogen affects the production of serotonin. Serotonin is a mood regulator and happiness booster. When your body produces less estrogen, your emotions may feel off balance. You may find that your feelings of rage or touch and go.”
I have researched this topic and eventually once your body regulates, your mood should stabilize but how long this can take can be different for everyone. Once again, I have had an addition to my medication which is helping with this rage, and I no longer want to strangle someone.😂 lol
With rage also comes brain fog. I would tell you that brain fog is like pregnancy brain for any of you who have experienced that. One just has a grim time focusing and is very forgetful.
Two weeks ago, I sold a barbie and ken doll on marketplace to a woman in Wisconsin. She paid me by PayPal, and I told her I would get them mailed that same day. I boxed up the dolls and addressed the box, loaded up the Kido’s and headed to town.
We returned to our home, and I could not find my phone. I looked everywhere for it at least three times. I could not call my phone because we do not have a land line and had no other phone in the house. I then remembered that I had set my phone on top of the package when I was reading the lady’s address of my phone and addressing the box. I had not closed the box because I had to buy more packing tape at the post office.
I decided we had better go back to the post office to see if it was there. It was 4:25 and they close at 4:30pm for the weekend. I loaded up the Kido’s again and went to the post office. They did not have my phone. I asked them for my package, and I opened it and low and behold there it was in the box. It had fallen in the box, and I sealed it inside. Ugg!!!! What is wrong with me? Lol 😂 we all had a good laugh. Brain fog is a real thing people.
The Bible says in Philippians 4:8 “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things” You see I had been having a bad attitude that day. Having a little pity party about every little thing that did not go exactly right. I needed to fill my mind with positive thoughts instead of negative ones, then it would have been easier for me to think more clearly even when experiencing the dreaded brain fog.
Blessed > Deserved❤
Cheri
Anti- what?
For years, a struggled with the fact that I needed an antidepressant. You see shortly after the birth of our first child I started having extreme irritability. I did not have the baby blues, no I got angry. Not with our baby but with any little thing. It was the crazy hormones, the lack of sleep, the constant need to feel like I was a good mother and the unrealistic expectation I had at being the perfect wife as well. I remember what happened that finally let me realize something was seriously wrong. You see my wonderful husband bought me a minivan. This van was wonderful because it had automatic doors. I know this is standard but in 2001 this was a big new thing. I was trying to put our daughter in the van and these farm cats we had inherited when we bought the place kept jumping in the fan. I would just get one out and another would jump in. This went on four or five times until I finally was in full blown rage. I picked up the cat and threw that thing as hard as I could out the door. Now before you go all PETA on me the cat was fine, at landed on all four legs, after all it does have nine lives 😊 However, this brought me to the realization that I did indeed have a problem.
I went to my family provider and was started on an antidepressant, and I felt better within 4 days. The drug insert said it could take 2 weeks for people but I’ve aways been pretty in tune with my feeling. It could have been that or just the fact that I had hope of feeling better.
Now I was on an antidepressant for 2 years or so and this really bothered me that I had to take this pill. I knew I could not just go off it cold turkey because I was a nurse for crying out loud. These things had to be tapered down slowly, so that is exactly what I did.
That was a big mistake. What happens to a diabetic who stops taking his insulin? His blood sugar skyrockets, and he becomes ill. What happens to an antihypertensive who stops taking his blood pressure medicine? He feels horrible or even has a stroke. No one feels badly about them for taking medication. The patient on a mental health medication, but me irrational or crazy in the head, however. So, guess what happened to me after 2 weeks of not taking my medication? I started to become irritable, but this time also sad and started having thoughts about killing myself again. I had not had that thought since old what’s his name from high school. This should have told me that I really needed the medication, and that depression is a real thing. Depression is not something one can just snap out of or get over.
The Bible says in Mathew 11 28-30 “come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
God never said if you believe in me, and I know you your life will be perfect. No, he said he will never leave you. God has never left me. Some people might say but why did he let you get so depressed that you thought about killing yourself? You see as real as God is Satan is just as real. God is stronger and will always defeat Satan when it comes to protecting his children. I did not kill myself; I went back on my medication, and he helped me realized that this medication is just something I need for my mental health. He has also given us free will and I might have made a different choice, but I thank him that I did not. Life is a precious gift, and we need to utilize our time here to further his kingdom in whatever way we can. We all have gifts-find yours 😊
Blessed > Deserved ❤
Pick up the Cross
May 3, 2024
My husband and I have four wonderful children. When we decided to start our family, I went off birth control and within two months we were pregnant. We had wanted our children to be about 3-31/2 years apart however, it took a year to get pregnant with our second child. We were beginning to think God only wanted us to have one child, so we starting to think about adoption and thought that was God’s plan for us when I became pregnant.
During our pregnancy we knew that we did not want to have any more biological children. We knew two was all we wanted, and we planned to have my tubes tied after the birth of our second child.
We ended up having c-sections with both girls so they were able to tie my tubes, or I should say one tube after my procedure. I say one because they could only find one tube and they said that is why it took a year to get pregnant. The surgeon said he could keep looking but feared it was under a large amount of scare tissue, he did not think it was working anymore and feared I might start to hemorrhage. He suggested my husband have a vasectomy as well. Which he did.
As the years passed, we would occasionally talk about adopting a little boy, but we never seriously investigated it. We still never regretted our decision not to have more biological children, however.
The years continued to go by, and we only had six more years until our youngest child would graduate and we would be empty nesters. At this point we had given up on adoption due to our age. We were all walking through Target together when I noticed we were walking through the baby section. I said “Ugg thank you lord that we don’t have to go through diapers and bottles again” 😊 He is still laughing at that one.
A month had passed, and we were all watching television as a family. I was scrolling Facebook and was viewing my cousin’s Facebook page. We are not Facebook friends, but he does not have his page set to private. Occasionally I would look to see what he was up to. I had seen that he and his girlfriend had just had a little baby boy. They had had a little girl a year prior. I made a comment aloud about it and texted my mom. She said you could have him if you wanted to. They lost custody at birth due to drugs. I repeated that back aloud and my husband said, “we could have him if we want him.” It was like God took that thought of no more babies away from us at that very moment and he was supposed to be ours.
The next day I spoke to a family member, and she was able to give me the name of the social worker. I called DHS and she called me back a few days later. We were so excited we could hardly wait. She said that until she received permission from the birth parents, she was unable to give me considerable information. She did gather some information from me and said she would talk to the child’s parents and see if they would give permission to talk to me and see if they would be ok with us taking custody of him since we were not a part of the foster care system.
She did call us back in a few days and gave us more information. At this point they were still doing visits with the child, but the DHS worker said the parents were not doing any of the requirements needed to obtain custody. She said we are getting ready to decrease visits to once a week because they are only visiting occasionally as it is. Our family decided we would start planning for him (Amazon became my new best friend) 😊and as soon as all visits were terminated, we wanted him in our home. That was only another week or two and we had him in our home and in our hearts forever.
It was a year later, and my husband and I had just left our tax appointment. We were in the car, and I realized I had a voicemail. I listened to it and started bawling. I had to tell my husband about it, and I just kept crying so I had him listen to it as well. The phone call was from a DHS worker for our son’s bio parents most recent child. They were getting ready to remove her and wondered if we would be a placement for her as well. They had kept her 2 months but were losing custody now. We had to decide fast. How could we take her too, we were already older for having a baby at home.
We asked If there was a safe place for her to go because if we took her, it would be to adopt her not to just have as a foster placement. We explained that we could not do that. She assured us she had a safe home for her to go to and we explained we needed time to pray about it. We also did not want to take her into our home because the parents were still going to visit two times per week because we did not feel we could manage letting them see her. A few weeks went by, and we received a call that visits were going to be changed to 1 x per week because of the lack of consistency and that the parents were not doing treatment like they were supposed to. I remember picking up my bible and looking up bible verses about adoption the first one I read was. 2 Corinthians 6:18 And, “I will be a father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” I said to myself, “nah he doesn’t mean that, that was just a coincidence” The next day was Wednesday, and we had youth group I was one of the youth leaders, but the associate pastor was doing the lesson that night. His lesson was about doing hard things for Christ, and he read this scripture Mathew 16:24-26 “Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a mag give in return for his soul?” I was fighting back the tears now. “I hear you Lord” I said inside my head. When I returned home that night, I told my husband the two stories about scripture, and we had our answer. The next day we called DHS and Amazon became my new best friend again as we prepared for our new precious baby girl. Were we scared? Of course, we were. We were already old and now we would have two babies only 1 year and 13 days apart. We had faith, we had God, and we had an impressive family and friends, and now we had a family of six. Our hearts were now complete.
Blessed > Deserved❤
Cheri
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He touched me
April 29th, 2024
We moved to Norwalk, Iowa for six short months. Who knew that those months would completely change our lives for the better? Eugene accepted a job transfer with the Farm Bureau insurance agency, and I accepted a job on telemetry at Mercy Hospital.
We found a church right away called FCC (Fellowship community church). We had decided we really needed to find a church family and re-dedicate our lives because we had fallen away during college. Not from God, but from church and growing our faith. Eugene joined a small group bible study that he went to when I was working nights and became a member of the praise and worship band. He plays bass guitar.
One Sunday the minister talked about all the problems we as people have and how other people in the congregation share the same problems. People who smoked and wanted help with that went forward and a group was formed, people with eating disorders, alcohol, porn and etc. This was the first church I had been to where the people did not act like they had all their stuff together. They were authentic and vulnerable and that felt good. Approximately twenty people went forward that day and gave their testimonies and even though I had known God for an exceptionally long time, this was the first time I had had felt his Holy spirit take over my body. I stood in front of that church sobbing, giving my testimony and my life was changed.
Then at work two weeks later he convicted me for the first time to talk to someone about him. I had received a report from the off-going nurse regarding an elderly lady that was not doing well, and she said she did not think she would make it through the shift. I was walking back and forth between my patient rooms, and I felt his presence saying, “go talk to her, tell her about me.” I did not go immediately. He spoke to me two more times and I finally listened. She was an unresponsive, tiny frail old woman. I approached her and spoke to her. I introduced myself and sat on the edge of her bed and grabbed her hand. I told her about Jesus Christ and that if she asked for forgiveness and repented (turned away from her sins) and asked him into her heart, believing he is our savior, died on the cross for our sins and rose again 3 days later that she could live eternity in heaven. I was crying. I asked her if she understood and if she could hear me to squeeze my hand, and she did. 😊 I did what he said, and it felt so good.
The next night I came on shift received report from a different nurse who told me she had not passed, and she added and “this patient doesn’t speak English.” I instantly felt like an idiot. Satan was laughing I just knew it. “What a fool! You thought you told her about God-you are “looser.” ☹
But then our heavenly father spoke to me. Just like he said in Mathew 14:31 “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” James 1:6-8 “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” Do you see God can do absolutely anything. So, is it not obvious that he too could translate my words so that this little old lady who was dying could hear and know the gospel and live eternity with him? My faith completely changed that day. I was growing in the lord, and I continue to grow every day.
Blessed > Deserved.
Cheri ❤
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He touched me
April 29th, 2024
We moved to Norwalk, Iowa for six short months. Who knew that those months would completely change our lives for the better? Eugene accepted a job transfer with the Farm Bureau insurance agency, and I accepted a job on telemetry at Mercy Hospital.
We found a church right away called FCC (Fellowship community church). We had decided we really needed to find a church family and re-dedicate our lives because we had fallen away during college. Not from God, but from church and growing our faith. Eugene joined a small group bible study that he went to when I was working nights and became a member of the praise and worship band. He plays bass guitar.
One Sunday the minister talked about all the problems we as people have and how other people in the congregation share the same problems. People who smoked and wanted help with that went forward and a group was formed, people with eating disorders, alcohol, porn and etc. This was the first church I had been to where the people did not act like they had all their stuff together. They were authentic and vulnerable and that felt good. Approximately twenty people went forward that day and gave their testimonies and even though I had known God for an exceptionally long time, this was the first time I had had felt his Holy spirit take over my body. I stood in front of that church sobbing, giving my testimony and my life was changed.
Then at work two weeks later he convicted me for the first time to talk to someone about him. I had received a report from the off-going nurse regarding an elderly lady that was not doing well, and she said she did not think she would make it through the shift. I was walking back and forth between my patient rooms, and I felt his presence saying, “go talk to her, tell her about me.” I did not go immediately. He spoke to me two more times and I finally listened. She was an unresponsive, tiny frail old woman. I approached her and spoke to her. I introduced myself and sat on the edge of her bed and grabbed her hand. I told her about Jesus Christ and that if she asked for forgiveness and repented (turned away from her sins) and asked him into her heart, believing he is our savior, died on the cross for our sins and rose again 3 days later that she could live eternity in heaven. I was crying. I asked her if she understood and if she could hear me to squeeze my hand, and she did. 😊 I did what he said, and it felt so good.
The next night I came on shift received report from a different nurse who told me she had not passed, and she added and “this patient doesn’t speak English.” I instantly felt like an idiot. Satan was laughing I just knew it. “What a fool! You thought you told her about God-you are “looser.” ☹
But then our heavenly father spoke to me. Just like he said in Mathew 14:31 “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” James 1:6-8 “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” Do you see God can do absolutely anything. So, is it not obvious that he too could translate my words so that this little old lady who was dying could hear and know the gospel and live eternity with him? My faith completely changed that day. I was growing in the lord, and I continue to grow every day.
Blessed > Deserved.
Cheri ❤
The one and only
April 27, 2024
Finally, the time had come to move into the Dorm at Mercy College of Nursing. Little did I know that that would be the day I would meet the love of my life. I was standing in the community kitchen when this guy introduced himself to me and honestly, I did not think much about it because I had not thought I would meet anyone in nursing school. Honestly at that time there were not near as many men in the nursing profession like they are now. I finished popping my popcorn and headed back to my room. My roommate and I were eating popcorn when someone knocked at our door. We opened it and not only was Eugene, the guy I had met standing there, but every other guy that lived in the dorms. 😊 All wanting to meet my roommate and me. We became friends instantly and a week later he asked me about our first date.
We had a wonderful time on our date. We ate at Babes Brewery which was downtown in Des Moines and saw the movie True Lies at Varsity, also downtown. Coincidently neither exist anymore. The next day I received a dozen roses which scared me honestly. I initially thought I am just going to tell this guy I just want to be friends but then, I am sure it was God, told me “No Cheri this one’s ok” We have been together ever since. Almost 28 years of marriage now.
Even though I was happy in love, I had a major problem and secret. It was because of the assault, moving to college and my parents selling the only home I had ever had, I developed an eating disorder. It was because food was the only thing I could control at this crazy time in my life.
My roommate Stacie was thin, and I would try her jeans on periodically in secret to see if they would fit me. You see I was so messed up in my thinking I could tell if I was thin or not. I just saw a disgusting fat person even though I was not fat at all. I weighed about 155 which is only eight pounds less than I weigh now. I would not eat but one cup of plain rice most days. One time I went 3 days without eating a thing and I nearly passed out. I ended up eating that day but felt terribly guilty about it later. Eugene and our friends would go to eat places together, but I would not say I was not hungry because I did not want to eat so I just avoided those situations. My weight went down to 123 pounds which people would guess I weigh about 100 pounds, but I still thought I was fat. Luckly this only lasted about 6 months, I was fortunate because most people are not that lucky. No matter what my weight is, whether a lot heavier or lighter I still struggle with my image. My girls say I always buy clothes that are too big. I am working on this because I do not think I see myself the ways others do.
It is amazing to me how our mental health can get messed up due to trauma in our lives. That feeling of no control is so terrible at times. There have been times in my life that I thought I had lost everything, but I had not. The only important thing in one’s life is God, family, friends, and health. The rest is meaningless. My past does not define me, and my self-worth does not change with the number on the scale or what someone says or thinks of me.
I am who he says I am, and HE says I am Fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalms 139:14-16
“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Marvelous are thy works; And that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not his from thee, When I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance yet being unperfect; And the book all my members were written, which is continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.”
Blessed > Deserved ❤
Cheri
Life forever changed
April 24, 2024
The year was 1994 and I had already completed Basic Training for the Air National Guard, Tec School, on job training and 1 year of college at Des Moines area community college. I still remember what started the change of everything…. My Grandmother passed away and a week or so later I was invited to a party. I remember telling myself, I will go but I am not going to drink. I am not getting drunk; I am not drinking!
I remember extraordinarily little about that night. I remember going and not drinking. I remember several people encouraging me too and I remember saying ok but just one or two. I remember drinking two drinks. Beer, I thought and then I saw a guy that “I went” with in junior high school. He was holding a bottle in his hand, and I asked for a drink. I had a big drink; I remember shortly after asking a good guy friend if he would drive me home, but he said no because he was someone else’s DD and that is the last thing I remember.
The next morning, I woke up around 10am and felt horrible. My head felt different in a way it had never felt before. I had been drunk before, but never had a felt like this, this was different. I got up and started walking to the restroom and I noticed I had gravel stuck on my knees. I had slept all night and somehow the gravel had managed to stay imbedded in my skin. I went downstairs and the phone rang. We had a cordless phone at that time, so I was able to have a conversation in the living room where no one was around. That good friend of mine who could not give me a ride home called and asked how I was. He then said I do not know if you have had sex before, but you better add two to your list. Ugg, what? My heart stopped. How could I have had sex with someone I was not like that. I never was like that. I could not even remember driving home, but my car was outside. I asked him with who and he told me. I was sick! I said why didn’t you bring me home when I asked you too? He got mad and hung up on me and to this day we have never spoken again.
At this point I was bawling, uncontrollably. Nauseous and felt like I was going to die. I went to the bathroom, undressed, gravel still imbedded in my knees. I showered for 2 hrs. Crying, retching, washing, trying to get clean, but I could not. No matter how hard I scrubbed, I could not get clean. I was disgusting, I was worthless, I was nothing. I finally got out of the shower; I gave up on getting clean. I dressed and went back to the couch. How could I ever show my face again, what had I done, how could I continue to live? I just want to die so the pain will stop. This was the second time I contemplated suicide. I had to tell my mom, or I would kill myself. But my mom will be so disappointed in me because I got drunk, I put myself in that position, but I had to tell her anyway and so I did.
I told her what information I had been given. I was bawling, she grabbed me, hugged me, and said oh Cheri. I said I know mom; I should not have been drinking. We made and apt for in a week or so to go the Doctor for a physical examination, pregnancy test and std panel. Thank you, Jesus it was, all negative.
As the years have passed and the world has become more knowledgeable and forthcoming about sexual assault or rape, I know realize that I was sexually assaulted. That being that drunk and impaired I could not have consented to sex. I was drugged. I had never reacted to alcohol like that before and I had drunk much more than that night. I had never been able to not remember either.
Here is how the scenario should have played out when I told my mother and how I feel it would have played out had it happened in 2024 instead of 1994. Again, I want to reiterate I do not place any blame on her. She did not know any better at that time. Times were different. When I told her and she hugged me she should have told me that I could not have consented to sex when I was drunk, took me to the emergency room immediately and had been take my dirty clothes with me even though I had already showered. At least then we would have known what was in my blood stream.
I spent decades blaming myself for this and I finally came to the realization that the reason I could not get clean even though I knew God and he knew me, was because it was not me who needed that sin washed away. It was the sins of the two boys that assaulted me. It was their sins that needed cleansing not mine. Not this time, not for this, NOT MY SHAME!
Blessed > Deserved❤
Cheri
No one would tell
April 17th, 2024
It was my first year of high school and I was sitting in Algebra 1. I noticed a ridiculously cute guy in the front row. He was a grade older, so I listened to others to learn his name. He must have noticed me too because about a week later he asked me out. I was only fourteen so I could not go on a date, but my parents said he could come over to our house since they would be there, and we could spend time together and watch a movie. We talked so easily and became an official couple that night.
Everything was surprisingly good until about that 1-year mark of dating. It was at that time that he started to isolate me. He would get upset if I spent time together with my friends because other guys might be around and before I knew it, I hardly did anything with anyone but him. This was also the time in our relationship where we thought we were totally in love with each other.
Now everything started to change. I had to be so careful not to do anything to upset him. I am sorry became the most spoken words out of my mouth. The name calling and put downs became a daily occurrence and it was not long until he started hitting me in the arms or kicking me in the legs if I did something to make him mad. I tried to break up with him so many times even though I loved him, but every time he would threaten me by telling me he would tell my parents and everyone else as school horrible things about me and everyone would believe him and hate me. I felt so alone.
You would think school would be a reprieve for me, but it was not, everyone at school, including teachers, were afraid of him. He was a bully. He would hit me daily, sometimes multiple times a day at school. I would see people watching and no one did a thing My algebra two teachers’ classroom was across from my locker and she saw him punch me in the arm and shoved me into my locker too many times to count. When I made eye contact with her, she would look away.
I remember one time it had got so bad at his parents’ house; they weren’t home that he had be believing everything was my fault and I remember feeling so bad about myself and so “crazy” in the head that I started scratching my wrist as hard as I could to cause myself pain because he had me believing I deserved it. It was that night I had the first real thought of killing myself. I thought “I am never going to get away from him, this will be my life forever. I thought to myself, I should just drive as fast as I can and drive off the road and make it look like an accident. I was scared though that I might not die, and I would be paralyzed instead I also did not want to hurt my family, so I did not go through with that idea. I thank God every day that he never left my side and kept me from ending my life that night. It was not long before I started hitting him back, praying he would hit me in the face, so someone would see, so someone would tell, but no one did tell, and they never did.
Blessed > Deserved❤
Cheri
Are you there God, it’s me Cheri
April 13th, 2024
So, it was the 1980’s and my friends were changing. I started spending the night with friends and that is when I discovered not everyone’s family dynamics was just like mine. There was usually arguing between siblings and parents, they did not all eat together, and they were not nice to each other. Looking back now I realize I was not always nice to my parents at that time either. It is a time of discovering boys and friends are much more important than hanging out with dear old mom and dad. (insert eyeroll here)🙄
It was then that I started really feeling bad about myself and no one seemed to understand. I was popular and got along well with teachers and peers. I really was friendly with all the clicks, yet typically felt completely alone. Mom would say “what are you unhappy about, you have everything going for you, your pretty, your popular, everyone likes you” but indefinite nights I cried myself to sleep. I hated the way I looked, I did not think I was smart, and I did not feel like I had everything going for me. Looking back now I realized that I had depression and anxiety, but back then no one talked about that. I never remember evening learning about it and a person only took meds or went to a therapist if they were “crazy.”
I had accepted CHRIST and decided to get baptized when I was twelve. I knew God and he knew me. I prayed every night and even though I knew what I was supposed to do I thought like so many people that the Bible was so old and that times had changed. I was completely naïve in my knowledge of Christ. As a believer we are constantly learning and how your relationship is with Christ is constantly changing, but always by our choice not his. His love is always the same and never changes. His commandments always stay the same as well. Try to just imagine how different the world would be if everyone could just follow the commandments. But we cannot can we? We are human. We have failed him. But HE NEVER FAILS US.
Be Blessed>Deserved❤
Cheri
Hello World
April, 8th 2024
Hello mama, today it begins. Another new adventure for me- BLOGGER! Well, wannabe blogger anyway. So hopefully you read the about section and learned a little bit about me. So, now you are probably asking yourself why this 50-year-old woman wants to start a blog. That is a great question. Honestly, it will probably seem a little crazy to those of you haven’t been convicted to do anything before, but that’s exactly what has happened. God has convicted me to do this. Back in September of 2023 actually. He told me the name, my signoff/catch phrase and is now telling me what to write. Honestly that is what has taken me so long to get this started, me being scared to just listen and let God do the leading. Through this blog I hope to tell you a little about my life and how I’ve overcome several obstacles through the grace of God. Many things are not going to be easy to share but God is telling me when you pick up the Cross for Christ it isn’t always easy. We have to do hard things. That being said if he leads me to it, he’ll lead me through it. Eventually we will get caught up to current time and you will learn about my current trials of day -to day life and hopefully it will be something you will resonate with, and you will continue to want to visit me here.
I was raised in a loving home. My mom and dad are to this day happily married for almost 58 years now. I have one sister who is married, and they have one son. Growing up most of my childhood was with my mom being at home with me at all times. I would come home from school and my mom would greet me with a hug and a snack. We would sit at the kitchen table, and we would talk about my day and go over my schoolwork. My dad worked for the Airforce as a member of the 132nd fighter wing in Des Moines, Iowa where I too would later serve. He arrived home every evening at 6:10 or 1810 and that is when we had supper together as a family. This was not some nights; this was every night. On Sundays we would go to church, however my dad only went on Holidays or if my mom was singing a solo that Sunday. This since has changed, praise God for answering many years of prayers. I was a very naive child growing up because I thought everyone lived this way and had no idea other people had any other way of living except to live the same way we lived. Oh, goodness by the time I would reach Junior high and high school I would realize I was soooo wrong.
Be Blessed > Deserved 💖
Cheri